If there is one other thing that you can count on in life besides death and taxes, it IS CHANGE!
Babies are born, they grow, they become toddlers, young boys and girls, teenagers, and then adults. You change as you grow, age, and mature. There are certain things you like as a child and then those likes or dislikes may change as you become an adult. Your life experiences, environment, health, and desires for something different are all major factors that impact change in all of our lives.
Things in life stay the same until they don’t anymore.
Loved ones pass away, children grow up and you are blessed to have done a good job raising them and they go out to make their own way. You grow and mature. You are exposed to different cultures and ideas.
Some of the changes you have control over and then there are many that you have no control over whatsoever. Some of those changes are positive, some are negative. Some are happy and some are sorrowful.
What I am learning is that sometimes even positive changes are sorrowful. Sometimes you still may not like them even though they are good for you. Even though they may be what is best for you that does not mean that we have to like it. It does not even mean that we wish it happened. There are even times when a small part of us wishes certain things were how they were before and did not change at all even though those things may have been difficult.
Even though you can look back over the circumstances and see how you’ve grown and matured. You can see so many amazing things God has done in your life during the struggle of the transition you went through. A small part of you misses the before the change. Maybe even more than a small part of you. You miss what was. You miss what could have been. You miss the relationships. You miss the good times.
Change can be filled with such heartbreak and sorrow that you have no choice but to mourn. And then sometimes you mourn it some more. And then some more.
Change can also be joyous. It can be exciting and afresh! It can be encouraging. It can give you hope. It can be a brand new start. It can make all the H.A.R.D. stuff worth it. You can look forward to an opportunity to create a whole new you. An opportunity to create a life from the dreams deep inside that whisper to your heart.
Change can feel like home even when the unknown wants to create a space of fear.
Change also allows you opportunity to draw closer to God as you make the choice to let Faith lead your steps instead of doubt and negativity.
When change is H.A.R.D and it hurts and it looks like a valley. It can feel like you are being beaten up by the enemy and everything that could go wrong is right on top of you. Digging a deeper valley.
When you are low in the valley you feel so small. You look out at all the things around you and you can be very aware of how big everything is. How daunting it feels to be so small with all the huge obstacles in front of you.
But when change is good and positive and joyous then we are standing tall on the mountaintop looking down at the valley where we once stood. We feel like all the things around us are small and so much more apt to conquer any obstacles than when in the valley.
What if it was all about perspective?
What if you extended Faith to God no matter if you were on the mountaintop or in the valley?
What if you trusted God to be God?
What if you trusted God to be God and you still fail?
What if you trusted God to be God in the bigger purpose of your life.
What if you trusted that God would even use your failures to further create you into the person He has for you to be?
Perspective – THAT IS THE GAME CHANGER – trusting God for the bigger purpose in the middle of change.
Trusting not only that He will take care of you BUT trusting that if HE allows you to fall or if you make choices that leads you to fall on your own – trusting that Jesus still has you.
He’s still got you!! He will use the good, the bad, and the ugly to mold you and shape you more into the person He wants you to be!
And… you will be okay. Even if it hurts. He’s got you!
When change involves creating boundaries to implement the change we know we need to make in our lives there can be pain and sometimes even goodbyes.
I was listening to a sermon recently that was talking about change and how sometimes change that you need to make in your life means you need to have boundaries for certain things or even certain relationships.
Some of you may have a similar mindset to me. In my past, my view of boundaries in a relationship was to protect it at all costs. You nurture it. You fight, tooth and nail, to protect it. You are loyal and you do NOT give up. You talk about the things and you look for solutions and you compromise and you do not take kill shots with words because, well, they can never be taken back. This was what boundaries in relationships meant to me.
I am learning that sometimes, boundaries mean different things. Sometimes you have to meet people and circumstances where they are and that is all you can do. Period.
Today when I think about boundaries I have a much different perspective. Today, I think about protecting my peace. Today, I think about simplicity. Today, I think about my worth and my dignity as a Daughter of The King.
Today, I think about Proverbs 4:23 NIV
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Yes, guarding your heart; having healthy boundaries that protect your heart, your peace is essential because EVERYTHING you do flows from your heart.
Your heart impacts everything you do. Every other relationship in your life. It impacts your happiness and joy. It impacts your sleep and your health. It impacts your work and your goals. It impacts your relationship with The Lord. Everything.
You MUST guard your heart.
In the sermon that I mentioned above on boundaries T.D. Jakes gave an analogy that resonated with me, I think you may be able to relate to it as well. It lays out change and boundaries perfectly.
“It’s not the step you step on that creeks. It’s the one you step away from when you are walking up the steps. The step creeks when you release the weight of being on the step to move to the next one. It’s not where you’re going that is fighting you – it’s where you left from that is making that noise”.
Just because you mature and grow into the understanding of guarding your heart and the importance of boundaries in certain situations of change; that does not mean that you are being ugly toward anyone or any circumstances. It does not mean you do not love the person. It does not mean that you are not working toward forgiveness if forgiveness is necessary. It does not mean any of the negative things that could be perceived.
It simply means you are stepping into Christ’s love for yourself and you are guarding your heart. Especially if it was broken. It means that you are protecting your peace and your well being.
Lysa Terkeurst’s Bible Study on Good Boundaries and Goodbyes is an excellent resource to help you navigate through a more in depth understanding of boundaries, relationship struggles of co-dependency, learning to have your own agency, and how to walk in that Biblically.
Christine Caine also shared a post on social media that so poignantly spoke to this exact topic of change and boundaries as well. It spoke to my heart so I am sharing it with you in hopes that you may benefit from it as well.
“Letting go of the old in order to embrace the new is not an easy thing to do, especially if you are sentimental, loyal or simply prefer predictability and routine. It takes both a mind shift and a laser focused commitment to loosening your grip on what was so your hands are free to embrace what is and what the future could be. It is difficult to do this when our hearts are involved, our emotions are involved, or our minds have mapped out the path we thought God was going to take us through. You have to allow yourself some time to adjust to a new normal and unfamiliar people, places and things. But – at some point – you will have to decide that you are going to go where Jesus is going and not remain where he once was. It’s time to embark into a new thing. God is with you and for you in this new season”.
If you know me personally, you know that I detest the phrase a new normal. Because, well, new is NOT normal. It just isn’t. It is not normal to what was or to what one would have hoped what would have been.
But what I am also learning is that we can embrace different and make it our normal. Like Christine says above, at some point are you going to walk along side Jesus or are you going to stay in the past?
Because Jesus has a lot of amazing and wonderful things for us!
Our whole entire life was planned out so very long ago!!
Man, I sure don’t want to miss what God has for me in the new season. I do NOT want to miss it because I made the choice to not follow Him. Because I made the choice to not trust Him in the midst of change and transition. Because I made the choice to not guard my heart.
I do not want to miss out on what could be if I trust Jesus to be Jesus.
I know you don’t either!!
Much Love ♥️
Michelle