Pay Those Back that Hurt YOU … with a Blessing

Displaying the love of Jesus like we should is not always an easy task to accomplish especially if you have been deeply hurt.

But, that does not mean that you get an out with God simply because there are areas of your life that need healing and it’s just easier to be ugly to folks than it is to take the steps we need to take to work on ourselves.

Chapter 3 of the Book of 1 Peter is speaking to a group of Christians that were experiencing a lot of criticism, hurt, and judgement from those around them.

It’s always interesting when I hear people say the stories or principles of the Bible don’t apply to the world today or the situations that we experience today.

I think this particular scenario is one that is very present for a majority of us Christians. The details may look different but the behaviors of people are the same in our current day as they were thousands of years ago.

When I read verses 8-22, I was reminded of a few different conversation I had several months back when I was seeking some advice, from wise counsel as they say, about a particular situation that was extremely difficult for me.

I had never experienced anything quite like the circumstances I found myself in before that time and so I didn’t really know how to process it all.

For all parties involved there were a lot of feelings and emotions. A lot of old wounds opened which just made things even worse. It was ugly. Just ugly and hurtful for everyone.

The wise counsel reminded me, let’s look at the truths that we know – which truths, in case we need a definition, are simply the facts. Not assumptions or how anyone made another feel but facts. Let’s talk about those so that you can process through those. So that you can make the changes for yourself that you need to make in order to move forward in a positive direction.

Then let’s circle back around to talk about how this makes you feel. Let’s talk about what you think is the “why” behind those feelings so you can gain a better understanding and maybe even determine that what you think is the cause of your pain is really rooted in something different. Let’s talk about those insecurities and broken spaces that you haven’t worked through that have just been laying dormant ready to flare-up when they are the least bit agitated.

If you acknowledge it. Whatever the it is. I think that is the first step in healing. That is the first step in saying to yourself.. Yep – this is what it is. Now, let’s think about that reality of the thing for a moment. Yes, it could be hurtful. It could hurt a lot. But when you look at the thing outside of your emotion – is it something that you have the ability to even change? If no, then you have to be willing to accept the truth that what is in front of you, is just how it is.

No matter how much you may have wanted something different you have to surrender to the idea that there is nothing you can change about the thing or the circumstance so you have to change your perception. You have to change your thought process. You have to allow God room to give you something different. You have to allow God room to change your heart and change your dreams.

You have to allow God to heal those empty spaces in a new way that shifts Him to the forefront. A way that allows your focus to be Jesus and what He says about who you are in Christ; about who He says you are as a Child of God.

My wise counsel reminded me, the work of accepting is hard. The work of surrender is hard. The work of real healing is hard. But do you really want to coast through this experience to just pack up all the lessons that God has for you into a suitcase to take with you on down the road for it to just be opened again later when the lessons will be even harder? Or, do you want to do the work and truly learn the lessons that you need to in order to move forward in a healthy way for you?

Also from wise cousel I was reminded; just because you are hurting does NOT mean you can forget that Jesus calls us to be kind. Jesus calls us to take the highroad. Jesus calls us to be tenderhearted. Period.

I like to call this doing my due diligence to represent well.

Similarly, the people that Peter was writing to were hurting, being persecuted, and treated in ways that was completely opposite of the behavior he was reminding them to display. Peter’s message was one of a reminder of Christ’s love. It was a reminder of how Jesus told us we are to love one another, how we are to extend grace to one another, how we are to bless one another.

That is a hard message to receive when you have been hurt so deeply. It’s hard to receive when you don’t think they deserve your kindness. When they don’t deserve your forgiveness.

Then the Father gently and tenderly gives a thought of remembrance to your mind – did you always deserve the kindness that I showed you every single time I’ve shown it to you throughout your lifetime? Did you deserve forgiveness? – No, Father. I did not… I most certainly did not.

Tears. And surrender to The Lord, to be kind. To be tenderhearted even when your heart is breaking. To work toward forgiveness. Only because I was extended to same grace by the Father. Only because I am His child.

I have heard many people say this and I have experienced it for myself. Yes, we need to work toward forgiveness because that is what The Lord tells us to do, but – moving toward a heart of forgiveness is really less about the person that wronged you, in my opinion, and more about creating a freedom of your own.

There is extreme freedom in letting go. There is freedom in moving to a place where your thoughts are clear and you’re able to refocus on the things that are actually important to you instead of worrying about things that happened in the past and trying to untangle misunderstandings.

I challenge you to do the hard work you need to do if you have some work that needs done. There really is no way around it if you want true freedom.

Peace and simplicity are sweet. Freedom is sweet. EVERY child of God deserves all of them.

Represent Christ well my friend – toward yourself and others. It will do your heart well!

Much Love ♥️


1 Peter 3:8-22 NLT

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.[a] Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. 

10 For the Scriptures say,“If you want to enjoy life
    and see many happy days,
keep your tongue from speaking evil
    and your lips from telling lies.
11 Turn away from evil and do good.
    Search for peace, and work to maintain it.
12 The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,
    and his ears are open to their prayers.
But the Lord turns his face

    against those who do evil.”[b]

Suffering for Doing Good

13 Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats. 15 Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. 16 But do this in a gentle and respectful way.[c] Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ. 17 Remember, it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!

18 Christ suffered[d] for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit.[e]

1So he went and preached to the spirits in prison— 20 those who disobeyed God long ago when God waited patiently while Noah was building his boat. Only eight people were saved from drowning in that terrible flood.[f] 21 And that water is a picture of baptism, which now saves you, not by removing dirt from your body, but as a response to God from[g] a clean conscience. It is effective because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

22 Now Christ has gone to heaven. He is seated in the place of honor next to God, and all the angels and authorities and powers accept his authority.

This site contains product affiliate links. We may receive a commission if you make a purchase after clicking on one of these links.

Resource Recommendations:

  1. God’s Miraculous Masterpiece by Priscilla Marie Hatch
  2. I am God’s Masterpiece Journal
  3. Shine: Stepping into the role you were made for by Allison Allen
  4. Journey to A New Beginning After Loss by Scott Reall
  5. NIV Life Application Study Bible
  6. Tyndale NLT Girls Life Application Study Bible
  7. Breaking Free by Beth Moore
  8. Entrusted by Beth Moore
  9. Fervent by Priscilla Shirer
  10. The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
  11. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
  12. Rediscovering Israel by Kristi McLelland
  13. Life After Life by Raymond Moody

Leave a Reply